"Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you."
Psalm 33:20-22

" Our soul waits for the Lord...."
Does my soul truly wait on the Lord? Have I made my own decisions and walked in my own selfishness so that I would be exalted? Have I been patient and trusted in His perfect plan? Or have I taken control and failed to be content in all things?

"....he is our help and our shield...."
Have I looked to tangible things for help and security or have I trusted in the unchangeable Rock that is my salvation? Have I allowed my sin to shield me from my Father or have I hidden beneath the shadow of His wings?

"For our heart is glad in him because we trust in his holy name...."
Is my heart glad in Him or in myself...my husband....my job....my security? Am I glad because I have another day to live for Christ or myself? Is my heart filled with my desires or desires He has given me? Am I alone trusting for my gladness to come from His holy name or in my attempts at satisfaction in the world?

"Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us..."
Do I resonate in Christ's sacrificial love for me, or am i relying upon others love for me?

"...even as we hope in you..."

Praise be to God that even though He sees my sin, and remembers it no more. He is still my help and my shield. My heart is glad in him because he has forgiven me, for I have made his name unholy. His steadfast love is upon me, even when I don't hope in him. He is good to me, when I am not good to him.

Of course we know that the greatest gift we can ever receive as sinners doomed for destruction (bc of our sin nature) is Jesus and His grace. Which has so wonderfully delivered us from this path of destruction. Of course we know this....

But i am reminded that as we continue to live in this sinful world, we battle our sin nature day in and day out. And only because of Jesus, as Christians we can KNOW with full assurance that our faith will become sight. What must we do until then....

"Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice rubies, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and NOTHING YOU DESIRE CAN COMPARE WITH HER." Proverbs 8:10-11

Wow, our greatest gift to sustain us through our journey is WISDOM. I am thankful that the Lord has graciously given us the Holy Spirit to help us SEEK and KNOW true wisdom. So i am thankful, this Christmas that the greatest gift i have been given is eternal life, but also the ability to seek wisdom and allow it to lead me in my path to redemption.

I have spent the past several months praying through the Psalms and I must say it has greatly enriched my prayer life, devotion and worship. When i first became a believer (actually in the months prior to my conversion) the Lord graciously used the Psalms to call me to salvation. He allowed the Holy Spirit to remove the scales from my eyes and see and taste that the Lord is not only good, but great.

I mainly connected to David and his heart-felt pleas for Gods mercy and forgiveness. I would pray with David
"Hear O Lord my righteous plea; listen to my cry." "I call on you O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer. Show the wonder of your great love you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes....hide me in the shadow of your wings." "They close up their callous hearts and their mouths speak with arrogance. They have tracked me down, they now surround me..." Ps. 17: 1, 6,7,8,10.

While, yes my foes were not trying to kill me (like david's), however the life i was living was leading to spiritual death and separation from God. I was plagued by "friends" trying to persuade me to continue on a path that I was beginning to understand led to utter emptiness and despair. Exactly the opposite of what they were promising. Sin is so cunning.

I can remember praying this before and while i was being tempted...
"For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me. I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin"..."O Lord, do not forsake me, be not far from me, O my God. Come quickly to help me O Lord my Savior!" Ps. 38:17-18, 21-22

My hope was held in His promise that:
"All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart pounds, my strength fails me.." Ps. 38:9-10

Now, at a very different season of my life, the Lord has used the Psalms again as an encouragement and bridge to greater joy in Him.
" The Lord has done GREAT things for US, and we are FILLED with JOY!" Ps. 126:3

The past six months has been one answer to prayer after another....and i am incredibly thankful. And as i turn to the Psalms i cannot help but be absolutely overwhelmed with a heart that longs to praise my God! All i can see are the prayers God used to bring me out of the depths of my sin and to a life that is life everlasting. I now, read new words that bring about a new heart to worship.

Many of you have been recent recipients of my text messages of scripture that I have been praying specifically for you. I feel there is nothing better to do than to lift you up to God using His perfect Word, which is His perfect will for your life. No other prayer is as fitting than the one God has given us. Its brought generations upon generations to their knees! I hope you have been as blessed as I have by these Psalms. Here are a few that I have been meditating on over the past several months...

"Say among the nations. The Lord reigns, The world is firmly established, it cannot be moved." Ps. 96:10 (No matter who is the political leader, economic status, etc.)

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our SAVIOR, who DAILY BEARS OUR BURDENS. Our God is a GOD who SAVES; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death." Ps. 68:19-20

"My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; POUR OUT YOUR HEARTS TO HIM, for God is our refuge." Ps. 62:7-8

"We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our sheild. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you." Ps. 33:20-22

And those of you who really know me, know that i struggle deeply with being content. I am praying to truly be thankful for the many blessings God as given me and not over look them to desire something else....bc there will always be a "something else" out there. Pray with me to be content in His abundant blessings...

"Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup, you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a DELIGHTFUL inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is GLAD and my tongue rejoices; my body will rest secure because you will not abandon me to the grave." "You have made known to me the path of life, you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." Ps. 16:5-10, 11

I am overjoyed to praise God for His faithfulness to both Bryan and I.
"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Ps. 126:3

So if i was tagged twice does that mean i have to think of 14 things....or does that mean i am that popular..hahaha...neither, i am sure!

Ok, here goes!

1. I love, love, love to dance, sing, sing and sing...when no one, but my dog and husband are watching. I used to dance a lot in public when i had too much liquid confidence (if you know what i mean). Especially love to dance today to Michael Jackson (old stuff) Madonna (old stuff), Hip-Hop and most 90's dance/club music (I know, right?).

2. I would love to be a make-up artist and/ or cosmetologist....just for fun and possibly for money.

3. I used to have a tongue piercing, nose ring and tried, unsuccessfully to pierce my belly button...twice. I also used to fake tattoo chinese symbols on my lower back with Sharpie marker when i was a freshman in college...bc it was cool to have back in '02.

4. I loved high school! Everything about it. I went to an all girls, catholic high school. I had an awesome experience. You either love it or you hate it. I made some of my closest friendships there (we're all still bff). I loved the uniform, the pep rallies, soccer, art classes, teachers, and the actual building! I love SHA! I would love to work there.

5. When i played house as a kid....I would pretend that my fake husbands name would be "Bryan"....who knew i was prophetic! Haha.

6. I am the reason that both my dad and mom are married to their current spouses. I introduced them both to each other, when i was a kid....I introduced my dad to his wife Susan when i was like 12. I introduced my mom to my stepdad, Philip when i was 10. In some funny ways...good story for another blog...but yes, I am a match-maker!

7. Bryan and I talk to each other in a totally disgusting annoying tone, using un-recognizable words and movements...that only the two of us understand. Its ridiculous...but we both love it and would both deny it and refuse to do it in front of you.

NO TAGS! I read no blogs, other than the ones that were already tagged!

Nothing really too new to get excited about, but really more of the same. However, since we have this blog and I have not written in like three years i felt it necessary to give some updates....even if there are few... Ok, here goes it..

1.) WE ARE OFFICIALLY MEMBERS OF IMMANUEL BAPTIST CHURCH!!!
And we love it! What a wonderful display of a truly biblical church that not only seeks to be correct in the importance of right doctrine and biblical teachings, but MOST important this church lives to share the gospel of Jesus Christ! Without receiving grace and continual sanctification through the gospel a right theology is worthless. We are blessed to have found both in this church. We LOVE it here. We feel authentically loved by a body that truly does seek to honor Jesus in all that it does. Praise the Lord for answered prayer, bc that was definitely a huge request about a year ago when we officially decided to move to Louisville.

2.) Bryan LOVES SCHOOL!
Like this is really a huge shocker to most of you all. However, i am very please to report (he is going to hate this) he is doing really well in his classes. I am so proud of his diligence to see his work as a spiritual discipline. He is really enjoying learning new things and allowing sound teaching to sharpen the things he already knew. With about a week to go in Bryan's first semester I think he would definitely appreciate your prayers for his finals. He is going to enjoy this much needed break after finals. Pray for rest and renewal. Thankfully, Bryan really managed his time well. We pray this pattern to continue in our years here.

3.) Sunglass Hut is still standing....
Ironically, i have been encouraged during this time of economic uncertainty...especially in the retail world. It is, however depressing to see all these stores close...even in my affluent, snobby mall (it is). However, thanks to Gods continued providence in my life....my store continues to do well. I am so thankful for his watchful care over me regarding finances and actually being in work. A job where i can use some of the gifts he has gifted me in. I pray that I would reflect Christ in all of my conversations with ppl as the come to my store. That they would receive more than great customer service and sunglass knowledge...but that they would be enticed by the spirit of our Lord. May my conversations be salty and His light blinding. Isnt that why we are here anyway? My treasures cannot be in my earthly possessions and worldly comforts. Moth and rust surely will find it and destroy. My hope is in the unchangeable rock of my salvation! Thank you to my friends that have graciously helped me through my discontentment with my current career. I covet your prayers daily. Please pray with me to keep the focus on the gospel.

4.) Calvin is getting BIG!!!
He seems to have less of that puppy skinny look. He's "manning" up lately. He's beefy and gassy (not going to lie there) our poor friends can attest to that truth. Seriously though, he still has energy for days.....but seems to love the seminary campus and its hills. He gets exercise running up and down them, chasing sticks and getting caught pooping when mommy does not have a bag to pick it up. (Yes, we got caught!) He is still "hot and heavy" with Zoey. Shes the sassy black "lab" he's been pursuing for about three months now. She was "hard to get" in the beginning, but he won her over with the over-bite, excessive kisses (with tongue) and incessant games of tag through the trees. She seriously is the only dog that is faster than Calvin. He loves it too! Anyway, how ridiculous that i am blogging this much about our dog! We love him, what can we say! We just need to give him a baby to play with....he really needs kids to watch and love! (Lord willin')!

5.) FELLOWSHIP GALORE!
We are super thankful for Gods providence in graciously giving us many friendships here in Louisville. We already have great memories and a list of ppl that will forever be receiving Christmas cards, emails and yearly visits when our time here at Southern is over. But thankfully its just the beginning. So i will put the fruit baskets on hold and for now and continue to invite them over for food, tv, games and hopefully fun. We love you guys!

Thank you all for your prayer and continued support in the gospel. Please pray for continued unity for Bryan and I in all things. That I would submit and respect Bryan and that he would love me as Christ loves the Church. Pray that we would live out what we are learning here in the classroom. Pray also, that we would continually place our hope in the soverignty of our Lord Jesus Christ and not in this world or one another. Our goal is to live radically for the gospel and not for ourselves. Help us to "press on towards this goal" in the "race that was set before us" "running in perservance" with Christ, who because "of the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame" so that we, "who are more than conquerors" "will not grow weary or lose heart".

This song's lyrics are incredible. Deeply theologically correct, as well as connecting so closely to my doxology. The two should spur one another on to glorify our Great God...

"because His [your] love is better than life, my lips will glorify you..." Ps. 63: 3

Here I am
One more day of not
Loving Him the way He asks
In fact my heart is singing praises to the things
that make me feel alright

So I`m sinking fast like a stone heart should
And on the way down
I`ve done what I could
To try and try to turn this stone to flesh

I`m haunted by my God
Who has the right to ask me
What by the nature of my rebellion
I cannot give.

So I beg for you to move
I beg for you to move
I beg for you to break through

So here I am
Got my deeds for the day
All my cute little words about
How I am saved
Am I saved?

Could I love you with my mouth like a church kid should
At the end of the day
My words get burned as wood
Oh, but I was good.

I`m haunted by my God
Who has the right to ask me
What by the nature of my rebellion
I cannot give.

These songs are noise
In your ears
A clanging drum
You want my love

For all those marrieds out there....