"Marriage is meant to make us Holy, not Happy"
Posted on Monday, January 12, 2009, under Danielle's Posts
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My Husband teaches me, a lot. He is constantly teaching, lovingly teaching and telling me things that I admittedly do not always understand right away. He is patient and kind and always willing to wait on my acknowledgment...whenever that may be. I'm sure this is something that he'd rather not have to endure, but I think its God's way of teaching him patience and perseverance.
One thing that he brought forward to me about a year and a half ago was the book "When Sinners Say I DO". He read it and i listened to the deep insight he found while reading it...we tried to read it together, but time wasn't on our side....or I wasn't paying attention (who can tell?). We laugh because the pattern in our marriage is Bryan teaching me something and me not "getting" it until months, or in this case years later. Not that I did not understand the basic gist of what he was saying. I do listen to him and nod in agreement. Its almost like when someone knows a lot of facts about Jesus and His death, when he died, why he had to die...etc., but they don't really understand personally their need for him. That is kind of how it is with us. The holy spirit (in both cases) has to reveal the truth when the heart is ready to receive it. So Bryan, I apologize for the delayed understanding on my part. Thank you babe for being so loving and patient!
My point....
Marriage reflects Christ and his union with the Church. As the body, we depend on our union with Christ to deliver, sustain, uphold and ultimately make us Holy. We do not depend on Christ to just make us happy. Although, a life spent in fellowship with our Savior often brings us immense joy, the goal is not our satisfaction...its goal is to make Christ's holiness known, so that He may be glorified. Our marriage is not to make us happy, its to make us holy.
As we struggle in our Christian walk we say things like: "This is for my sanctification"..."Christ is made perfect in my weakness....when i am weak He is strong". We are called to rejoice in our sufferings bc we are becoming more like Christ as we do suffer. We should see this same blessing in our marriages. When we suffer and fight for joy we should remember that the end goal is not to make one another happy, but to make Christ more holy. We are two unholy people coming together to display a holy union. What a more perfect way to do it. We should be so lucky that we can fight and battle with one anothers sin, only to find grace and forgiveness in a physical form; one another. When I have hurt Bryan I see the immediate implications or consequences of my sin all over his face, in his actions (or reactions) it crushes me. We do not get to see how our sin devastates our Holy God. Then Bryan has the chance to lovingly bring me back with mercy, forgiveness and grace. He is demonstrating Christs' (on a small scale, but in a huge way) abundant love and forgiveness toward my restoration. After all, Bryan's job is to love me as Christ loves the Church...and is that not how Christ would react to our sin, as believers?
So my application to this is....How would i react to Christ in His loving restoration to my soul in times of brokenness? I would accept his forgiveness and be thankful for my salvation and pursuit of holiness. Instead of doing this in our marriages, we remain bitter at one another and forsake forgiveness to defend our selfish need for happiness. Wow! (So true....just sounds horrible reading it)
We do this and completely miss the boat on allowing these momentary troubles to bring us closer in our understanding of Grace in the Flesh, closer in our relationship with Christ and ultimately closer in our pursuit of Holiness. I have been convicted that i should lovingly submit to my husband; respect him and allow his merciful love to pursue me right towards holiness. I would pray that my love and forgiveness toward him would do the same.
One thing that he brought forward to me about a year and a half ago was the book "When Sinners Say I DO". He read it and i listened to the deep insight he found while reading it...we tried to read it together, but time wasn't on our side....or I wasn't paying attention (who can tell?). We laugh because the pattern in our marriage is Bryan teaching me something and me not "getting" it until months, or in this case years later. Not that I did not understand the basic gist of what he was saying. I do listen to him and nod in agreement. Its almost like when someone knows a lot of facts about Jesus and His death, when he died, why he had to die...etc., but they don't really understand personally their need for him. That is kind of how it is with us. The holy spirit (in both cases) has to reveal the truth when the heart is ready to receive it. So Bryan, I apologize for the delayed understanding on my part. Thank you babe for being so loving and patient!
My point....
Marriage reflects Christ and his union with the Church. As the body, we depend on our union with Christ to deliver, sustain, uphold and ultimately make us Holy. We do not depend on Christ to just make us happy. Although, a life spent in fellowship with our Savior often brings us immense joy, the goal is not our satisfaction...its goal is to make Christ's holiness known, so that He may be glorified. Our marriage is not to make us happy, its to make us holy.
As we struggle in our Christian walk we say things like: "This is for my sanctification"..."Christ is made perfect in my weakness....when i am weak He is strong". We are called to rejoice in our sufferings bc we are becoming more like Christ as we do suffer. We should see this same blessing in our marriages. When we suffer and fight for joy we should remember that the end goal is not to make one another happy, but to make Christ more holy. We are two unholy people coming together to display a holy union. What a more perfect way to do it. We should be so lucky that we can fight and battle with one anothers sin, only to find grace and forgiveness in a physical form; one another. When I have hurt Bryan I see the immediate implications or consequences of my sin all over his face, in his actions (or reactions) it crushes me. We do not get to see how our sin devastates our Holy God. Then Bryan has the chance to lovingly bring me back with mercy, forgiveness and grace. He is demonstrating Christs' (on a small scale, but in a huge way) abundant love and forgiveness toward my restoration. After all, Bryan's job is to love me as Christ loves the Church...and is that not how Christ would react to our sin, as believers?
So my application to this is....How would i react to Christ in His loving restoration to my soul in times of brokenness? I would accept his forgiveness and be thankful for my salvation and pursuit of holiness. Instead of doing this in our marriages, we remain bitter at one another and forsake forgiveness to defend our selfish need for happiness. Wow! (So true....just sounds horrible reading it)
We do this and completely miss the boat on allowing these momentary troubles to bring us closer in our understanding of Grace in the Flesh, closer in our relationship with Christ and ultimately closer in our pursuit of Holiness. I have been convicted that i should lovingly submit to my husband; respect him and allow his merciful love to pursue me right towards holiness. I would pray that my love and forgiveness toward him would do the same.
